Early one morning last week, 2:30 A.M., I awoke to a strong pressure in my chest.  It was not painful but remained steady.  I was not alarmed, but a voice kept echoing words I had heard many times…”Women’s heart attacks can be silent!”.   At 4:30 A.M. we went to Big Sky Emergency Clinic.  Immediately I was donned with an oxygen tube, IVs in each arm, a blood pressure cuff, heart monitor stickers everywhere, and nitroglycerin tablets and patch.  It was a whirlwind!  I asked if the heart could be causing high blood pressure, or if high blood pressure could be causing a heart issue.  “YES”, they said.  “Oh, so I just need to figure out which one it is?!” I exclaimed.  “No”, they replied, “WE need to figure that out, not YOU!”  Ohhhh….(I had to smile inside…could be a clue to part of my problem!).

Next thing I knew, there was to be an ambulance ride to Bozeman Hospital which is one hour away.  My adventurous nature kicked in and I was very excited to experience my first ambulance ride.  It was not the wild ride with sirens and flashing red lights you might imagine.  It was actually quite lovely and peaceful.  Here is my view out the back window of the ambulance as I laid on the stretcher…

I heard in my heart….”I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”  (Psalm 121: 1-2).  Upon arrival, I entered the cardiac unit in a wheelchair.  Several nurses were working at the desk located at the entrance to the unit.  One of the nurses stood up, waved her arms dramatically and shouted, “Welcome to the Cardiac Unit! Sorry you have to be here, but we want to welcome you!”  I’m not sure my words could ever express what that meant to me.  As I got settled in my room I looked out my window to a view of the mountains.  Suddenly in that moment, a yellow butterfly danced by amidst the construction equipment and workers.  I was not alone.  God was present!

Most of the day and evening were filled with blood tests and blood pressure readings along with constant heart monitoring contraptions.  The exception was a visit to a closet shower in the hallway.  After getting all soaped up, I had to ring for the nurse because I could not get the shower turned back on.  (Mechanically challenged, but they don’t have a cure for that).

The next morning brought my first stress test.  My friend Connie prayed that I would be surrounded by angels in that room.  Truly I was!  I watched my heart pumping faithfully on the screen.  I never anticipated actually seeing and hearing the sound of my heart in action.  It was a bonding moment as I felt so close to my heart, so thankful for its hard work every second to bring me life!  I clearly had taken my heart for granted.  The cardiologist told me my heart was excellent and performed beautifully.  Way to go heart!!

I was then set free to leave the hospital to do whatever I wanted.  Even more, I was grateful for this whole experience which brought me a new lease on my life…good to go for the next 30 years!  Returning to my Montana home in Big Sky, I looked out my kitchen window that afternoon…

Each day the journey of life lies before us.  We never know where the next turn in the road may take us.  Once again, I was glad I had brought the cross with me!  It speaks a deep and constant truth for me…

I am a happy, grateful girl!

nk

On my first two Sundays in Big Sky I was delighted to have the opportunity to preach at Soldiers Chapel.

There are two beautiful windows in this intimate log cabin chapel.  One is a clear glass window located just above the altar which frames the scene of Lone Mountain, the distinguishing landmark of Big Sky Montana. I can’t imagine anything more inspiring than looking out upon the magnificent beauty of God’s creation in worship. Anything made by human hands could not begin to compare.  Worship at its peak would be taking in the glory of God’s paintbrush!

The second window is located at the back of the sanctuary.  It is a round stained glass window depicting a soldier and the hand of God reaching out to touch him or her.

These two windows set the tone for worship in Soldiers Chapel, along with the wooden ceiling beams and walls made out of natural logs, bringing an embracing warmth to the room.  Because there is a different visiting pastor and gathering of people each Sunday, worshippers experience the joy of strangers coming together from different places in the world. The common bond is worshipping our Creator God.  The Holy Spirit makes God’s presence come alive on any certain Sunday and unites us all in Love.

My first Sunday was Communion Sunday.  It seemed so perfect as we all came together in “one bread, one body, one Lord of all…one cup of blessing.”  As we experienced the words of Holy Communion, I lifted the cup of wine representing the blood of Christ poured out for all people for the redemption of the world.  I raised the glass chalice containing the wine before the congregation and proclaimed the words of Christ, “This is my blood poured out for you.”  In that very moment the light from the window above the altar fell upon the chalice in such a way that the reflection of the mountains and the beauty of God’s creation was seen in the cup of blessing.  Indeed the reflection of the cross from the altar was sitting on top of the blood of Christ.  For a moment the magical wonder of it all took my breath away.  It was a holy happening!  I had to tell the people what I was seeing!  It was a gift.  It was one of those moments I would never forget. I couldn’t capture it on camera at the time, but the moment is vivid in my memory and I painted it later.

In the sacrament of Holy Communion we actually become one with Christ, one with each other, and one with all creation.  I saw it become real that morning in Soldiers Chapel.  I will never forget!

nk

We made it to Montana!  What a wonderful welcome with a banner held high, framed by a big beautiful sky which proclaimed, “We’re glad you’re here!”

And this is not the only banner.  If you look closely you will see a parade of banners on both sides of the main road into Big Sky.  They each displayed a different photo which represented some aspect of this town.  Yet they all echoed the same expressive embrace, “We’re glad you’re here!”  It all felt like a big hug!

We stayed with friends for the first two nights as I prepared to preach on Sunday and move into our condo on Monday.  Some of these friends I have known for 10 years and others for 25 years.  They are quite special!

The first night we went to dinner at a favorite BBQ restaurant located on the Gallatin River.  The place was packed with joy, children dancing in the corners.  In the middle of our meal, crowds began to suddenly rush to the back deck.  My eyes followed them to see a rosy glow in the sky.  I grabbed my camera (cell phone) and ran outside.  Ahhh…the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

And then…a double rainbow arched all the way across that big sky.  It was so huge I could not capture it in one photo. The arch was wider than this, but you get the idea.

The sky of Big Sky could not have possibly offered a more beautiful welcome.  This place just feeds my soul!  Here is a poem by Macrina Weiderkehr from her book, “Seasons of Your Heart”.  It seems to express something I am feeling…

(read stanzas from left to right)

nk

 

Who dreamed up “Fairyland” anyway?  Was it Walt Disney?  Certainly it wasn’t God!  Isn’t Fairyland the place of “make believe”?  Isn’t it the land of our imagination where magical things happen? Well, Bryce Canyon in Utah set the record straight for me.

We arrived just before dinner in a little town in Utah.  The sign read “Tropic, City Limits, Pop 460.”  I have no idea where the 460 were hiding.  If you were to blink you could be out of Tropic before you realized you were in it!  Incredibly it took us close to an hour to locate our Bed and Breakfast.  I’m not sure I can even explain that, but it was a somewhat circular adventure!  Finally, somewhere, here it is…a view from our balcony at Livery Bed and Breakfast…

A mile or so into the desert, down a dirt road between that barn and the mountain , we found a wonderful gourmet restaurant in a rustic log cabin lodge.  I love the surprises of the Wild West!

Early the next morning we headed toward that mountain and Bryce Canyon.  There lies perhaps the most delightful surprise of the entire trip.  Here it is..wondrously created by God…FAIRYLAND!

My my first impression was the movie “Frozen”.  I can still see my grandchildren singing and dancing across my living room to the song “Let It Go” with dramatic leaps and full volume voices.

Then at another viewpoint around the rim of the canyon, it seemed I was looking at the Lost Terracotta Soldiers of China.

Reflecting on Bryce Canyon, I still feel like I was in a beautiful Fairyland, a place where imagination and reality become almost perfectly indescribable and indistinguishable.  Joy!

nk

On our second day at Zion National Park we ventured on two hiking trails up into the massive rocks.  The first was to Weeping Rock.

There is a cave within Weeping Rock and the water drips down from above.  When we reached the cave we experienced the wetness along with beautiful vistas…

It was a wonderful adventure, unlike anything I had ever done.  Coming back down we encountered some of God’s creatures, a mule deer and a tarantula!  (Yikes!)

On our second hike we went to Emerald Pond.  At the top was a waterfall which tumbled over a high cliff to a rocky place below.  Both of these hikes were steep in certain places.

 

At the base of this waterfall I was unexpectantly surprised by the fluttering about of a yellow butterfly.  It was a rare sight deep within the canyon.  I tried and tried to capture a photo but to no avail.  I was not quick enough on the trigger.  I finally gave up, so disappointed!  I started back down the long narrow trail.  Close to the completion of the hike back down, a woman met me on her way upward.  Suddenly she shouted, “Look…a BUTTERFLY!”  I quickly looked about but saw nothing.  “Where?”, I anxiously replied.  “There…just above your head!”  My heart skipped a beat…I had been thinking about that butterfly all the way down the trail…”What color is it?”  I asked.  “Yellow!”, she smiled,  “It is yellow!”.

Ah, what a moment!  What a gift!  I knew the butterfly was mine…a treasure beyond what could be captured in a photo!  God was present!

nk

Zion National Park was one of my favorite places on the journey to Montana.  We arrived in the rain on a late afternoon and got to experience the beauty of ethereal light and wetness through the canyon.  While I love the sienna colors in the sunlight, I treasured as well this first impression of Zion looming with an intriguing mystery.

The next morning brought a beautiful silhouette of these giant rocks I like to call cathedrals.

As we entered the canyon at the dawn of a new day, I heard the voice of the American Indian speaking an ancient truth, “There are stories here that remind us of who we are and where we came from.  Listen for them.”  I wanted to hear the stories within these cathedral walls!  They were captivating in their spiritual nature.

Three peaks called the “Court of Patriarchs” were named after Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob of the Old Testament by a United Methodist minister and three local boys.

As we walked along the river trail at the base of the canyon, I happened upon a child named Lily.

She was creating something in the dirt along the path and I had to stop and watch.  I introduced myself and asked if I might take her picture.  She was happy for me to do that, but she never stopped working.  She told me she was building a home for a beetle.

I got down on my knees so I could watch closely.  She was quite intent in her careful and imaginative creation of this home.  I wanted to get inside her mind and hear the story.  In the shadows of these magnificent cathedrals, this little girl poured out her passion for one of God’s smallest creatures.  She made for the beetle a place called home.  I remembered the words of the Native American.  Suddenly this rush came inside of me…I felt I got a glimpse of who I am and where I came from!

That evening we found an isolated artsy place in the desert to have dinner.  I especially loved the painted horses on the outside wall…

And finally…

Chocolate desserts always need to be shared!

nk

 

“O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!” ( Psalm 8:1)

My first glimpse over the rim of the Grand Canyon caused me to speak in a whisper.  “MAJESTY” is my word for it.  Certainly only God could create something so awesome, and thus it was as if Creation and Creator became one in that moment.  I stood in AWE at the grandeur.  I stood in AWE before the presence of God…Majestic and Majesty.

Looking across the canyon I could see young people standing on a cliff.  Clearly they were experiencing MAJESTY as well.  The photo on the left gives you perspective on how high they stood over the canyon depths.  If you look closely or zoom in, you can see them at the top left of the photo.   The photo on the right shows their reaction to God’s creation…

The quote of the day for me….Standing on one of the cliffs I overheard a youth nearby say to his Mom, “It’s beautiful what nature and time can do.”  YES!  I had certainly thought about nature making this beauty, but time was a new thought.  Of course, time played a role in making this beautiful!

I read again the comment my friend Barbara wrote in a recent blog post…”deeply knowing that the love between friends transcends time and space forever!”.  Truly, that is beautiful!  And it’s even bigger than the Grand Canyon!

nk

 

Leaving San Angelo, we headed west across Texas.  Good thing we have GPS!  We entered our destination and she responded, “Stay straight on this road for the next 100 miles.”  We could have gotten lost out there!

We drove and drove and drove.  I drove for awhile during lunch.

We experienced a beautiful, dramatic sky at the close of day in Albuquerque, New Mexico where we spent the night.

Then we continued west into Arizona, stopping to experience the Petrified Forest and Painted Desert.  They have existed for over 10,000 years.

 

You can see the logs and pieces of the petrified wood from the forest still remain scattered about the land.  Within that wood you could see an incredible array of colors.

The artist in me found this absolutely fascinating and exciting.  It was like God’s palette of paints with a million colors, all found in the vastness of creation and also within a single tree.  It made me think about the myriad of shades of color present for us to enjoy every day.  Yet we so often label these colors simply green, red, blue, yellow, etc…the basic colors.  We confine and limit our experience of color.  This reminded me of a painting by Patsy Lindamood entitled, “Don’t Fence Me In”.

Look at all the shades of color just within his face.  Even more, look at his expression!  I wonder how much our experiences are narrowed and limited because we have not looked or listened closely enough to all that God has created. We tend to “fence God in.”

One thing I have learned about God…there is always more!  A million colors within one seemingly dead tree…who would have imagined such beauty?  “God is able to do abundantly more than we can ask or even imagine…”  Ephesians 3:20

nk

 

Our first stop in our journey to Montana was San Angelo, Texas, the place of my childhood and teenage years.  We stayed in the country with my dear friend Barbara and her husband Tim.

After purchasing my new phone, we went to the Art Exhibit at old Fort Concho. Two of my favorite paintings were by artist David Dorsey, entitled “The Buffalo Hunter” and “White Water”…

We drove around the lake where I loved to water ski.  It just looked so beautiful that I had to get out of the car and take a photo for you to see.

But when I looked at the photo, I thought to myself, “This is just going to look like any old lake to them”!  Then I realized that the real beauty is held in my memories and the wonderful times shared there with family and friends.  Nothing can ever take that away from me.  It will always be beautiful!

And look at this incredible West Texas sky… Oh how I love the skies!

Very early the next morning at daybreak I looked out my bedroom window to see the lights of San Angelo at the horizon.

In that moment my entire life there seemed to be captured in those lights as they glistened in the distance.  They reached out to embrace me as they held my treasure.  I thought about the phrase in the “sending forth” of the marriage ceremony…”that your home may be a haven of blessing and a place of peace.”  I love that phrase.  I felt it so strongly in that moment.  San Angelo, my homeland, had been exactly that for me growing up and it continues to feed my soul.  I thank God for this gift. What a wonderful beginning to our journey!

nk

5:30 a.m…..Alarm goes off.  Take a shower, wash my hair, forgot my towel!  If I walk dripping wet across the tile floor, will Bill slip and fall when he gets up?  Can’t risk that!  How long does it take to drip dry?

6:30 a.m….Bill is packing the car.  What a great packer he is!

Can’t believe what all is in there….table, 4 chairs, waffle iron, art supplies, clothes for 7 weeks, books, quilt, kitchen stuff, cooler, golf clubs, camera, …

7:30 a.m….Uh Oh!  Forgot the toaster oven! Bill is not pleased.

8:00 a.m….Guess it can sit on top til we drop off the trash bag at the dumpster and make some room.  ( Wait a minute….is that illegal?)

8:30 a.m…..We’re off!  Only 30 minutes late.  As I was leaving my wonderful kitchen, I began to picture the new little kitchen I would be occupying in the condo in Montana for the next month.  I looked at my cross sitting on the counter…

Should I take it?  Could I possibly fit in one more thing?  I threw it in the bag.  It will make the new kitchen feel like home!

10:30 a.m….We have been on the road 30 minutes.  I have eaten half of our snacks for today!

3:00 p.m….Stopped in Junction, Texas for a break.  My cell phone tumbled out of an open pocket of my purse and took a nose dive into the toilet.  I heard the awful noise, “ker plunk!”  I quickly retrieved it and ran it up and down through the fierce blowing of the hand dryer on the wall in the bathroom.  It apparently died.

3:15 p.m….However, the cell phone started buzzing and continued a loud buzz like a bug trying to die a long slow death.  I kept trying to revive it by madly punching buttons here and there.  After about 15 minutes the screen started fading into view every so often as if the phone were taking faint gasping breaths.  On the screen was a bulb thermometer, colored red almost to the top.  The phone was struggling to tell me something…(words on the screen), ” You can’t use your phone right now…Trying to cool down!”  Apparently I not only drowned it, but fried it as well.

3:30 p.m….Suddenly it dawned on me as I laughingly shouted to Bill, “This is like one of my Dad’s trips!” (Honestly, it was ALWAYS an adventure, and something ALWAYS went wrong).  Bill shook his head, some expression that resembled a “yes” and an “oh no” nod all at the same time.  The nod spoke, “Yes, this is definitely your Dad” and, “Oh no, is the rest of the trip going to be like this?”  I held the phone up to the air conditioning vent to try and help the “cool down” process. The loud buzzing noise continued.

3:42 p.m….The noise stopped.  My phone is dead.  I wanted to take a photo of it showing that thermometer in one of its last fleeting breaths.  But Bill would not let me touch his phone!

3:43 p.m….Hummmm……Good thing I brought that cross!!

Smiling,

nk