Sometimes I awaken in the night.  This time can be brief or it might be an hour.  I see the light of a full moon through the transom windows up high in the bedroom.  Or I hear a distant train recalling the wonderful memory of riding a train as a child all the way from West Texas to Indiana to see my Grandmother.  Although there are times when my mind is racing 90 miles per minute, most of the time this awakening is quite peaceful and special.  It is as if there is a presence reminding me of my deeper self, my true self.  There is a “knowing” which happens in the stillness of the night that can be lost in the busyness of days with routine and schedules.  It is like awakening to being known and loved which nourishes my heart and soul.

We have an old German clock which you see in the photo above.  It has soft, beautiful chimes.  They don’t wake me up, but if I am awake I hear them.  The clock has been in every home of ours and over the years we have only had it serviced a couple of times.  It is dependable.  I can listen to the chimes in the night and know what time it is…how long I have been awake.  It does not bother me; it comforts me.  It is a beautiful, assuring sound….the gift of time.

This reminds me of a letter I received as a young mother.  I was in my 30’s when my Mom was going for tests to discern cancer.  I could not bear the thought of the possibility of losing her.  She was a rock of faith for me, and the most loving person I knew.  The letter, which I still have, was from my church youth director. She and her husband had young children when they led my youth group in high school.  They were very influential in my life and my faith journey.  Here is a quote from that letter….

“Dear Nancy…It seems the sun should come up earlier and go down a different time on days like today when someone so near and dear is facing something as tremendous as your mother is today!  It seems strange that people go to work, children play…that birds sing and rain still falls.  The message in this sameness in the world, I guess, is that God works in everything in a very constant way so that we all…especially your mother and her precious family, keep going regardless of the tasks of this day.  The sun comes up as it should.  Our near and dear have strength for today.”

Although I received many expressions of love during that difficult time, these words were the ones that brought a strength and hope I needed to move forward.  I could count on the sun coming up again every day!

It is early morning as I write this.  Sunrise will soon come over the horizon out my back window.  I hear the birds singing.  The beauty of God’s world is all around me and I know I am loved.  Thanks God!

nk